Transport Tweets - The "What if God Were One of Us?" Edition

Transport Tweets. Because Melbourne's public transport is some of the most tweetable.

• lol, like the person on Twitter sticking to Metcard because the #myki touch screens "capture fingerprints" #peoplearemorons

• yarra trams customer service guy just said, 'Hey hey, ho ho, this tram's about to go!'

• when I stayed in Melb, I was shocked to know that a bus driver-passenger quarrel could make the news

• Another guy waving his #Myki card around on the scanner, with no joy. HOLD IT STILL, dude!

• I've been touching on and touching off with Myki for a week... But I'm still unsure as to where this relationship is heading...

• What happened to Aussie Hero food on the train? VLine, your shit food is shit, expensive, and shit.

• Haha! Just watched a guy walk up to the cops and slur, "I had a problem with people on the tram calling me drunk!" They're now searching him

• Drunk dude with dog on train passed out with souvlaki in hand. I think doggy is going to try lift it from him. Go doggy!

• What if God was one of us? What if God was on a bus? Well he'd probably inhale toxic fumes, his myki wouldn't work and he'd be late to work.

• Passive agressive tram drivers are the best tram drivers.

• who needs the Myer stocktake sale when there are junkies pawning their jewellery on the 109?

• I just had a meeting @ work- my guest arrived on a melbourne bike share bike! Surprised? No, astonished!

Transport Tweets - The Wrong Side of The River Edition

Transport Tweets: shut up and listen.

• you don't wanna catch the bus for five minutes by yourself? BAWWW HAVE A FUCKING CRY

• Overheard some bloke on the train describe his current dilemma as a "catch 24." Bloody idiot. I'm Derryn Hinch.

• Am on #75 tram and a couple just swapped numbers after he asked her out....aw sweet! #75 now known as the love tram #mustbelove

• Sitting on the floor of the tram dreaming of drinking a gallon of miso soup

• Guy just got on the train and shouted at the top of his lungs "Merry Christmas everyone... Oh. God. I'm. depressed."

• Early Sunday morning, Prahran to Geelong. Coffee, sunglasses, sandwich, headphones. Tram, metro, #Vline, bus. Riding with the hungover crew.

• Dear old guy in front of me on the bus if you push back on your chair onto my legs one more time I'll throw u off the fucking bus!!!

• My East African taxi driver just called my fellow passenger a douche. Then he proceeded to say this in three different languages.

• Joy. Single white female waiting for bus with bunch of white middle class drunk bogans. #timesineedaboyfriend

• Whoops. Indian just emptied his stomach contents on train carriage door. Time for a new seat.

• Curse you full bladder + copious amounts of alcohol + long tram ride #WrongSideOfTheRiver

• Also, wine drunk is head-drunk not full-body-drunk like beer. Train eavesdropping proves informative.

• @fakemetrotrains Metro Trains hope to improve services by building a new train line in the Yarra River

• Just had an interesting convo with a drugged up guy on the train. Apparently im gay cauz i dont do weed...

• There is someone on my tram wearing clogs. And fake fur. Hmm